Now I know how Nolan felt.

Obviously I'm going to tell what happened this week, but right now I'm still furious, hurt and completely undone. It would be unwise for me to say anything right now. Some will say I should have thought about that before cussing on the air. To them I say this, "I'm sorry for cussing on the air, but you can't intentionally run a jagged nail edged poll up my ass and tell me not to scream. Should I have cussed? I wish I hadn't, but I don't know if under the same circumstances I wouldn't do it again. I would be a liar if I said I wouldn't, because right now I'm not completely certain I was out of line. When I calm down I will lay the facts before you, and maybe together we can come to some decision about who was out of line this week. One thing is for certain here, there are worse acts than cussing on the radio.

I do want to apologise to the Razorback fans. I feel by letting them kick me off the radio, I've let you down. It's just that I know what Bo and this media base tries to get away with, and I'm just worried no one will be there to stand as a bulwark to it. In order to do so, one needs to have access to certain information in order to succeed, and I know of no one that does. One needs to see our history as it should be written, and not as it has.

I should never have let myself be volunteered for the contest. When Bo volunteered me, I should have been thoughtful enough not to let pride rule the day. I should have said, "no thank you", but I was worried about how that would make me look. This is my crime, and I fear one that comes with a death sentence. We'll see. In the end, I still have my beer, books and blog. I can spend the rest of my days content in never hearing my voice again on the radio. I never really became comfortable with it---I did it only because I felt a sense of duty.

Anyway, make sure to return tomorrow or the next day. What Bo did to me this week needs scrutinized heavily. Not for my sake, but for yours. As I said earlier, there are worse acts than cussing on the radio, and I will describe them for you. Bo isn't your friend people. Yea, he's good on the radio and he comes off clean as a fresh sheet, but down deep he's your enemy. He's not because I say so, he is because I can prove it. I matter little here in the larger picture, but Bo Mattingly figures into it greatly.